Telling Others You Are Living with HIV: What to Know

Deciding whether to tell someone you are living with HIV is personal.

There is no one right way to do it.
You can take your time and choose what feels right for you.

What is disclosure?

Disclosure means sharing your HIV status with someone.

This could be:

• A partner
• A friend or family member
• A healthcare provider

Do you have to tell others?

In some situations, there may be legal or health-related reasons to disclose your status.

Your provider or care team can help you understand what applies to you.

Things to think about before telling someone

• Do you feel safe telling this person?
• Do you trust them to respect your privacy?
• What kind of support do you need?

It’s okay to take time to think this through.

How to have the conversation

You might choose to:

• Talk in a private, safe place
• Keep your message simple
• Share facts, like how treatment works

You do not have to share everything at once.

Telling Your Partner

If you have HIV, telling your partner(s) about your status is the right and responsible thing to do.

• Your partner(s) should get tested to find out if they are HIV positive.
• Always use a condom or dental dam for any kind of sex – oral, anal, or vaginal
• If you are concern that your partner might hurt you if you disclose your HIV status, talk to your health care provider, case or nurse care manager.

Telling Your Family and Trusted Friends

It can be hard to tell your friends, family, children, or other family members that you are HIV positive. Here are some tips that may help:

• Think about the best time to tell people. You should pick a time when you can be alone with them and have a quiet talk
• Keep the talk as simple as possible
• Prepare yourself for their reactions – these include love and support as well as anger, sadness, or fear
• Let them know why you chose to share your status with them and much their support means to you
• Make sure they know not to tell others

Telling Your Boss at Work

• You are not required by law to tell your boss that you are HIV positive – as long as you can perform your job, it is against the law for your boss to discriminate against you because you have HIV
• You may think about telling your boss if HIV or your treatment affects how you do your job. If you do tell your boss, you may be able to work together to find ways for you to keep doing your job (fewer hours, more breaks, etc.)

(Adapted from www.APositiveLife.com)